Theatrical Logic

In is down, down is front
Out is up, up is back
Off is out, on is in
And of course-
Left is right and right is left
A drop shouldn't and a
Block and fall does neither
A prop doesn't and
A cove has no water
Tripping is OK
A running crew rarely gets anywhere
A purchase line buys you nothing
A trap will not catch anything
A gridiron has nothing to do with football
Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)
And a green room, thank god, usually isn't
Now that you're fully versed in Theatrical terms,
Break a leg.
But not really.

theatricalmercenary@juno.com (Mark Leslie) notes:
Sound guys count to two, Musicians count to four, Dancers count to eight, but always start at five.

Chris Babbie <syd@primenet.com> has the 5-second lesson down to perfection:
Off is out, out is up, up is forward, on is in, in is down, down is back, left is right, right is left, and everyone works at a strike.
Shuddup still means shuddup.